V/H/S Review

Hello again, ghosts and ghouls!

I feel like it's been a hot second since I've really had time to sit down and watch a horror movie these days. HOWEVER, I figured I'd review and oldie but goodie that I've watched a few times now. If you have any films in particular you'd like to see me review, shoot me an email! I'd love suggestions! You can do that at taylorterriblehorror@gmail.com. We can even just talk horror and be best friends. Cool? Cool.

V/H/S was given a limited release here in the US, but that didn’t stop it from taking the horror scene by storm. It’s an anthology of short horror films, so basically, you’re getting a handful of horror films all in one two-hour period. What horror fan is opposed to that?

Essentially, the film opens up with a group of jerks who want to steal a VHS from a house, in which they find that there is more than just one tape. They begin to check out the footage, only to realize that there’s some really fucked up shit on there that they probably didn’t expect.

I’m not exactly sympathetic if you haven’t seen V/H/S, because you’re kind of three years behind. It’s been talked about endlessly for being a truly original film, and each of the short films within this one weird, twisted story has its own strengths. 

Before i give too much away, I’m going to limit myself to telling you guys about just one of the films. It’s called “Second Honeymoon”; while most of you, I’m sure, will disagree that this is the scariest one of all of them, I was really freaked out. It’s so uncomfortable…anyway, let me tell you about it!

A couple goes on their second honeymoon (hence the name) where they encounter a stranger asking for a ride for the next day. That night, someone takes Sam's (the husband) camcorder that he’s been filming pieces of the honeymoon on, and films the couple sleeping. The camera shoots the intruder sticking Sam’s toothbrush in the toilet and stealing $100 from his wallet before whipping out A KNIFE and holding it up to Stephanie. (At this point I was hyperventilating a little).

Alright, I’ll stop there so I don’t give away any of the good stuff. There are also paranormal shorts that went into this film, so if you’re not looking for a thriller about someone breaking into someone’s personal space, you’ve got some sci-fi, some zombie action, the works.

It truly is a film for everyone, and is worth watching at least once. Never again will you want to hear someone say “I like you”.

I'll be using the rating system that we use over on Nightmarish Conjurings (another horror site I write for)!

Story/Concept: 2

Direction/Style: 1 (I only give this a 1 because I’m not the biggest fan of found-footage…if you enjoy it, this is 500% a 2)

Scares: 1

Atmosphere: 2

Rewatchability: 1.5

TOTAL: 7.5

It truly is a film for everyone, and is worth watching at least once. Never again will you want to hear someone say “I like you”.

With that being said…I like you all…a lot.

Until next time, stay spooky!

Taylor Terrible <3

Hellraiser Retrospective is Up!

Hello ghosts and ghouls, this is going to be a very quick post...
As all of you know, I'm absolutely obsessed with Hellraiser. It's been my favorite horror franchise for a number of years now, and honestly the obsession has never really died down even slightly.

To commemorate my love of the greatest horror franchise, my newest video is a retrospective of all 9 films!
Click the link below to check it out:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BIptMohva4

Let me know which of the Hellraiser films is your favorite, and which franchise you'd like to see me do this with next!

The Hallow (2015) Review

Just when I thought that the found-footage film was going to take over the horror industry and we'd be left with a bunch of awful films that made our favorite genre look like a joke, director Corin Hardy brought us The Hallow, and I want to kiss him on the mouth for it.

For those of you that were getting so tired of found-footage, this film is going to rock your world. Adam and Claire Hitchens are a couple moving to rural Ireland with their infant son. Adam is a geologist looking to do some research in the surrounding woods...though the locals are telling him to stay away. The creatures in the forest don't take well to visitors...and if you have a baby they'll probably want it.

This film has a little bit of everything for all types of horror fans. If you prefer a slow-burn horror film, you're in for a treat. My only real frustration with this film stemmed from the fact that it took almost an hour for it to pick up and get exciting (I'm an instant-gratification kind of person), but other than that, there's no found-footage (can you tell I hate found-footage?), there's some body horror (one of my favorite types of horror...it freaks me out so bad!) and it's abundant on freaky creatures living in the woods.

When I tell you guys...these creatures are awesome. They were all done with very practical VFX because Hardy didn't want to make them look fake, and trust me, they don't. The sounds they make are awful, too...I was hearing them in my sleep.

While it's not making its way into my top 10 horror films, I do appreciate the film for what it is and I definitely think it's worth a watch if you're feeling tired of the norm in horror (which is lately pretty awful). The Hallow is on VOD now, so I would definitely give it a watch! It's fun, it's stressful, and it's such a breath of fresh air.

Until next time, my creepy people, stay spooky!
Taylor Terrible <3

All Hallows' Eve Review

When you think of Halloween, what's the first thing that comes to mind? For me, it's trick-or-treating in costume while the wind rustles the leaves on the trees as you walk down the street, your costume shoes stomping on the leaves that have already fallen and you hear that satisfying crunch...-sigh-

Naturally, I love all films that revolve around October 31st. Trick 'r Treat is classic, and is in my top 5 favorite horror films of all time. Halloween doesn't get much more iconic. So when I heard about All Hallows' Eve (2013), I said "oh, I'm probably going to love this one!"

                                            photo from screamhorrormag.com


All Hallows' Eve tells the story of a babysitter and the two bratty kids she's watching after their Halloween festivities. They've been trick-or-treating and the night is rapidly coming to a close. The children are sitting around watching movies when Sarah (the babysitter) ushers them to bed. But the bratty brother finds a VHS tape in his trick-or-treat bag (uh...what?) and insists on playing it. After thoroughly disturbing themselves by watching a psychotic clown named Art become the ringleader to the "terror" on the tape, Sarah is left in the house alone while the children sleep. Is someone there with her?

Okay, you guys. I'm not going to lie, I went into this film with insanely high expectations because you all know how much I love, love, LOVE killer clowns. Pennywise is my man, Twisty is my BFF...any evil clown I can find, I will watch and devour with my eyeballs. I'm not scared of clowns, I just adore them. Don't ask me why.

Anyway, I'd heard about this one before, and I saw Art and thought "alright, this is right up my alley, let's go for it!" and then never got around to watching it. Cut to last night, and I was jumping for joy when I found out my friend had it on DVD. Popped it in, and I let the excitement commence...

Except it never came. This actually may be one of the worst films I've ever watched. There's no plot, and what the film lacks in plot, it only slightly makes up for it in gore. Sort of.

You get to see a baby cut out of a woman, and there are "creepy" aliens with noodle arms, but the whole process of getting to the points that are supposed to scare you are unnecessary, kind of annoying, drawn out, and really boring. The VHS itself is cool, it's almost like an anthology but it doesn't make any sense and it never comes together at the end, but nonetheless, it's the easiest part of the film to watch, besides Art.

Art is AWESOME. He's weird, disturbing, and he's very present. He's never lurking in the shadows, he's right in your face (except for the "second film" where he's kind of just a painting).

If you're looking for a good, classic Halloween film, skip over this one and move on to something more sophisticated like Trick 'r Treat. It's essentially the same, but done better.

This one gets a 3.5/10. Womp womp.

Do you guys have any great film suggestions for me? Let me know! Email me at taylorterriblehorror@gmail.com!

Alright guys, tomorrow is my birthday so I'm taking a trip to Sleepy Hollow. I'll let you know how it goes!!

Until next time, stay spooky <3
Taylor Terrible

The Hole (2009) Review

I’ve been looking around and I’ve found that there are about a million movies with the name “The Hole”. I got the one that I watched confused with the Kiera Knightley version from 2001, in which the story is completely different from the version I watched. (Oops!)

            So here is the synopsis of the correct film that I watched:

“A pair of brothers stumbles upon a mysterious hole in their basement that leads to the darkest corridors of their fears and nightmares.”

With the help of their new next-door neighbor, the boys decide to investigate the weird happenings in their new home, such as ghostly girls and creepy clowns (my favorite). The hole in their basement is the source of all of their fears once they open it, and they soon find out why it was sealed shut. Essentially, the hole creates everything that you are afraid of and sends it after you. Uh oh.

           

            This story is surprisingly deeper than it lets on. It’s lighthearted and fun, more of a thriller than a horror, however it’s definitely worth the watch. The story is almost sad once you find out what’s going on at the end, so it makes it worth watching all of the way through. I went in to watch the film honestly thinking that it was going to be ridiculous and childish, but, like I said, it’s fun, it’s deep, and you know what? For a much younger cast, the acting was wonderful.

            If you’re looking for a fun, kind of creepy film to watch on a rainy day, this is a good one. It’s not over-the-top classic, but if you have Netflix and need a good suggestion, start here! It’s a quick watch, so at 92 minutes long, it’s easy to get through.

I know this was a super quick review, but it's a short film! I'll be writing a post for next week about my experience at Haunt Faire this weekend.

Until next time, stay spooky,

Taylor Terrible

The Damned (2014) Review

Every week, I try to browse Netflix and see if I stumble upon any films that seem interesting. I love when I find a film with pretty okay reviews that I've never heard of before, and that's how I found The Damned.

When a man and his fiancee travel to Bogota, Colombia to find his rebellious daughter and get caught in a flash flood. With no car, the family treks to an old hotel that holds a disturbing secret about the owner and the basement.

The problem that I had with this film is that it was incredibly predictable. As soon as the family discovered what was going on, it was all downhill from there.
What I did enjoy, though (as most of you probably don't know) is that the film is half in Spanish and half in English. I majored in Spanish when I was in college, and I'm pretty proficient in speaking the language, so although there were subtitles, it added to the experience of the film. They make a language barrier a big part of the film to keep you on your toes, because the protagonist has no idea what the locals are trying to tell him.
Although, at the end, suddenly someone who only spoke Spanish in the beginning was fluent in English which threw me off a bit.

I really enjoy paranormal horror films, so this one was decently okay for me. While, like I said before, it was predictable, I did enjoy the storyline behind the possession (although it wasn't explained well) and I mostly enjoyed the acting. The father in the film is pretty cool, to be honest.
All in all, the film was pretty middle of the road for me. I would suggest you watch it once just to see what you think, however I'd never watch it a second time.

If you've seen The Damned, let me know what you thought! I'd love to hear other opinions about it!

We Are Still Here: Review

I recently watched the 2015 film We Are Still Here as per the recommendation of a handful of super excited people. I'd been hearing good things all week, so I told myself, "hey, I'll save this one for a rainy day and it'll be awesome!"

Cut to about two days later...there was a beautiful thunderstorm here in New York and I was so excited to snuggle up burrito-style and turn this flick on.
With the thunder and lightning in the background, I flipped this one on and got myself ready to be terrified.
The story is about a small town that a middle-aged couple moves to after the tragic death of their son. When things start to get a little weird in the house, the couple realizes that there may be someone their besides their beloved Bobby...so they call upon their "psychic" friend to check the house out with her boyfriend.

Things start to go downhill early on, giving you little bits of suspense here and there right off the bat. I feel like things are very stop-and-go; a lot of the suspense and jump scares happen very abruptly and they're kind of expected.
I have to say, the story itself is good. It's a pretty typical house-haunting-type film, but the story of the house and the history is fun.
The characters are really well-written, however the casting left a lot to be desired. I found the acting really cheesy to the point where I was having a hard time getting into the story.
The entities floating around the house getting crabby and nasty were pretty terrifying. I won't get too far into where they come from or what their deal is because it's very well-explained in the film, but what you should know is that two of them are kids, which is one of the things that freaks me out the most. Ick.

Overall, I liked the film. Maybe not enough to watch it again, but I do recommend it as a film that you check out at least once so you can join in on the conversation about it!
I give it a 6/10, a little better than halfway there but the acting really ruined it for me. The entities and the deaths are what got the rating up there for me...if you guys enjoy gore like I do, this one has PLENTY. I promise, it doesn't start off too gory, but once you get a little ways in...BAM. Body parts flying everywhere. Thumbs up on that for me.

Happy haunting, my spookies...let me know what you think of We Are Still Here!
Taylor Terrible <3

Sinister Review

Hello again, my creepies!

So in the midst of all of life's craziness, I was called to a friend's house to hang out and watch a movie. You'll have to read the review what I thought of said movie, which was Sinister (2012).

Here I was, sitting on the mattress-made-couch in my friend's living room. We sat around eating dumplings and hot-and-sour soup and joking about our high school experiences from the past, when my friend perked up and said "hey, I have Sinister on Bluray and I haven't cracked it open yet, anyone want to watch?"
There was an excited "YES!" from everyone in the room, aside from myself, who sat indifferent. I'd heard of Sinister, don't get me wrong. I knew that it existed. I just hadn't gotten around to watching it and I had NO idea what it was about.

And so we watched.

The opening scene- a family being hung from a tree. Alright, disturbing. But way to try to reel me in with some cheap thrills, Sinister.

One hour in. I was begging them to turn it off. Was I bored? No. Was I unhappy with the storyline? No.
I was so terrified of the death scenes that I had my hands over my eyes to distract myself from the horror that was happening. There's just something about watching a family get drowned to death in their own pool while strapped to their lounge chairs (and watching their feet twitch as they try to escape) that made me lose it. Maybe it was the music.

It freaks me out every single time. It's horrible. I've always known music has a huge impact on how a film flows, but I never thought that it would disturb me this much. (This was when I started saying "Okay, do you guys want to do something else now?")

But alas, I made it to the end of the film. My body felt like an overcooked noodle. Mentally, I was shot. Every sound around me made me jump out of my skin. It made me despise children.
So it did its job.

For those of you that have never seen Sinister, I rate it as one of the top 5 scariest horror films I've ever watched. The story is realistic, brutal, and it makes you hope that you don't have any kids living in your house.
Mr. Boogie, or Buhguul, isn't nearly as involved as I wish he was, though the sequel looks like it's going to involve him much more (and it comes out in August, you guys! Yay!) but he's still scary. I like that he's not the center of attention- the weird looking antagonist doesn't steal the show, but what Ellison (the main protagonist) is going through takes the main stage, and everything going on around him is like a well-orchestrated horror choreography of terrifying, gory, horribleness.

If I was going to rate this film out of 10, I give it a 9.5. I wanted to be scared by a horror movie, and it totally delivered. I am SO HAPPY I finally got around to watching this film. So many thumbs up.

Until next time, spooks,
Taylor Terrible