Poltergeist Remake...I'm Grossly Excited

I remember watching the original Poltergeist at my 10th birthday party in my basement with all of my best friends. We were all so terrified that a tree was going to come crashing through the window to eat us that none of us went to sleep that night. I also still frequently find myself having weird, nightmarish fears of the guy in the bathroom ripping his face off...so this begs the question: how excited are you for the remake coming out this year?! I'm so excited that I need to go into the liiiight...hehe...heh...

Producer Sam Raimi is probably an awesome pick to be on-board for this film, that's one of the things I'm most excited about. Some of his notable credits are the Evil Dead "remake" from 2013 (which holds a special place in my heart, because it was one of the first times I was actually dragged to a horror film I thought I'd be too scared to see, and it was also one of my first dates with my now-boyfriend-of-two-years), The Grudge, and Drag Me to Hell. Um, yes. His horror expertise is a welcomed credit on the roster for me.

Then, there's the up-to-date visual effects. The original Poltergeist is terrifying in it's own way, mostly because of the concept. You have an angry bunch of spirits throwing things around your house and sucking your daughter into the television. Your son gets swallowed by a tree. You have a small woman with an awful voice running around your house talking to your daughter that you can't see. If you haven't seen the original Poltergeist, it's like having not seen the original Evil Dead. It's a classic, and while it's not necessarily the best visual effects in the world, it still freaks you the hell out. That's what I'm looking forward to with Poltergeist: the story will never, ever be dated. It can only go up from here.

The only concern I think I have is them messing with the story. There is something about Carolanne and her family that was so charming and lovable, that you root for them obsessively the whole time. I was thrown off when I watched the trailer and the oldest daughter is on Facebook when her phone goes down. Meh. I know it isn't the 80s, but can't we pretend that it is? Also, they don't have little Zelda Rubinstein running around the house with that tiny voice of hers yelling "go into the light", which is also slightly disappointing.

But all in all, I can't wait until this one comes out! I think 2015 is going to be a year where horror reinvents itself, creating a new outlook on the genre. Except for that awful Unfriended movie. We're just going to pretend that doesn't happen. Cool? Cool.

Love you, my little ghosts and ghouls.

What It Means to be a Horror Fan

This is a super sappy post, I'm just warning you guys. There are a lot of things that have occurred to me over the last few months especially, but since I've truly become a part of the horror community.

This whole community has become a lifestyle. The idea that these twisted, terrifying things that exist in the world really bring a group of people together is...well, disturbing, but also so sobering, because I always thought I was the only person in the world who had a crush on Edward Scissorhands at 5 years old, or I was the only one who was sneaking out of the house to watch The Exorcist because my mom wouldn't let me when I was 9.

I have been welcomed into this community with nothing but open arms from everyone. The people I have met have been some of the most interesting humans I've ever had the pleasure of coming in contact with, from all different backgrounds.

So what does it mean to be a horror fan?
You're sick and twisted, and it's awesome.
You enjoy blood, gore, and the occasional beheading.
You go about your life as a normal person (which most people are surprised by, we don't go home and turn into Jeffrey Dahmer), you have a life, you have friends.
You live on the adrenaline of being terrified.
You think that the term "creepy" is a positive.
You're probably one of the coolest people in the world.
You defy the norm.

There are so many more things I could add to this list. To be honest, I never believed that I would fit in anywhere as a kid. I was bullied for years about how I looked, how I dressed, and what I liked. I was told by what was probably hundreds of people that I would never be able to go anywhere with the way I lived my life.

And instead, I grew up trying to suppress my love for the weird. It wasn't until right before I turned 20 that I found my love again, and that rush of being terrified but being so intrigued and wanting to be there left me feeling almost lost. I told myself I couldn't hold the love back anymore, and so I let it flow.

Here I am about 2 years later with a horror collection that's slowly engulfing my entire bedroom, relationships with some of the most beautiful people in life and on Instagram, and I am so proud to call myself a horror fan.

I take a few hours out of my day every day to post here, post on Moviepilot, make sure I watch films that are classic, or getting reviews (good or bad) so that I can tell you guys how I feel about them, and I am eternally grateful that you all support me the way you do. I think about my horror family every single day and how they've embraced me as one of the fellow weirdos.

It's not a hobby, it's not something we do in our free time, it's a lifestyle. There's no other word for it. When you're truly a horror fan, it's your life. I'm willing to be weird forever, and I can't wait to love every second of it.

Sincerely, truly, deeply, from the bottom of my heart, I love you all.
Until next time, while I'm still trying to get that HorrorBlock video up. -sigh-

As Above So Below: Ugh.

I think the title says it all. This post is going to be more of a rant than a review. I can't believe how disappointed I was with this film- I was so excited to see it when it came out in 2014, but for some reason I never got around to it. Maybe it was the universe's way of saving me time.

I watched this one yesterday, which will be 3 days ago when you guys read this, and every time I think about it, I get more sad.  I ended up checking Instagram through most of the last half of the film because I was just so horrifically bored. 

Let's get one thing straight: the concept sounded awesome. A woman searching to fulfill her father's legacy by finding the Philosopher's Stone in the collapsing catacombs of Paris? Sounds pretty sweet. Especially when you find out it's "haunted". I mean, in theory, it's cool. Then you watch the actual film.

-pause- I should have listened to the 27% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Okay, so it grips you and doesn't let go from the first five minutes when you think the protagonist is going to die, but because she's the protagonist, you know that isn't going to happen. Is it thrilling? At some points, like maybe when the phone is ringing and you don't know why...or when the wall people are attacking, I guess.

But let's just talk about those rushed, awful deaths throughout the film. It's like they advertise that you hear these delicately crafted backstories throughout the movie, building up to the point where the characters finally face their fear and deal with what their demon is...but that never happens. Sorry, to those of you that enjoyed this one, you're crazy if you think that these backstories were well done. I never felt like I got to know any of the characters at all with the exception of the main woman, and I can't even remember her name.

Essentially, the only good part of the film was the first 30 minutes. I liked the initial establishment of the entity that was taunting the group, but from then on, I was so bored that I almost shut it off, but I paid $6 on demand to watch it so I figured I should watch it all the way through.

The end of the movie was what really did me in, because there wasn't one. Nothing is resolved, nothing is fixed, nothing is proven, and nothing is explained. You just watched this WHOLE MOVIE waiting to find out if their efforts are successful, and you have NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENS AFTER?!

You guys. I honestly don't understand how this ended up as awful as it did. It looked like it was done so well, and ultimately, I don't remember the last time I watched a movie this bad. I'm sorry if you liked this one, but I really don't have any good to say about this one.

Let me know what you thought, especially if you didn't like it so we can be on the same page!

I'm still working on that video of my HorrorBlock unboxing for you guys, it's been rough. Until next time, my creeps!

Horns (2013): A Review

Hey guys! I know I promised a HorrorBlock unboxing in my last post, and trust me, I tried. I recorded it at LEAST 8 times, and each time the computer froze (it even does it in the final cut I got, I couldn't do anything about it, and I'm still getting used to this whole video-making thing...I'm trying to do it all on my own!) so I kept the last cut, and if you're reading this, it means the video didn't process in time to post for you guys this Thursday. I'm going to keep working at it though, I promise!
I've tried to upload it so many times, and every time it just tells me an unexpected error occurred. -sigh- I pinky swear, that video will be up and running eventually. It's all filmed. I swear.

So, in the meantime, I saw an awesome film this week! See title.

I had heard a ton about this one just from seeing people post the picture above on Instagram. I didn't know it was on Netflix until a few days ago (I'm behind on the times, you all know this) but I had a few moments to myself so I sat down and watched this.

I have to say, I'm very impressed. First of all, visually, I thought the film was stunning. The scenery in the woods is beautiful, and it made me pine for a treehouse. Get it? Pine? Because they're in the woods?
...I digress.

Daniel Radcliffe's performance was outstanding. He's emotional, he's insane, he's so sane it hurts, and he's hilarious. Honestly, the whole film is a rollercoaster ride of emotions the entire time. I caught myself tearing up towards the end. What horror film makes you emotional? Unless it's disgust, of course, or your favorite hero dies.

Here's a brief summary without spoilers, so for those of you that haven't seen this one yet, you can keep reading:
Ig Perrish lives in a small town where he falls in love with his childhood sweetheart at church. Cut to the fact that the entire town is condemning him to hell, because Merrin (the love of his life) has been murdered, and everyone thinks he did it. He spends the next week or so attempting to prove his innocence, but not without growing a huge set of horns on his forehead.
It all makes sense when you watch the film, I promise.

Ig vows that the power of the horns will lead him to good, and ultimately to finding Merrin's killer, allowing her to finally rest in peace, with her tragic story being told.

Honestly, this super brief synopsis does the film no justice. There are so many more details that are important, but if you haven't had a chance to watch this film I really, truly encourage you to do so. It put things in perspective for me in my personal life, but not without entertaining me with some gore, violence, a handful of sex scenes, and a very angry Daniel Radcliffe looking like Satan.

I know, I know, I'm raving about this one. I don't do it often because I usually go into films very skeptical. This was no exception, but it completely turned me around. It was a beautiful film. I don't have enough good things to say.

Let me know if you guys end up watching, and tell me what you think! How did you like it?!
Until next time!

Empty Bodies: a Review of a New Novel!

Hey guys! I'm really excited about this post for so many reasons. One, you know how much I love books. Two, this is a review of a book by one of the authors in my "Favorite Horror Books" post!

I had the privilege of becoming friends with an author, the ineffable Zach Bohannon, when I won a giveaway on his mailing list because I wanted to check some of his work out. A few weeks later, I had read through his book of 4 short stories and loved them.

Cut to about a month ago. I was lucky enough to receive an email from him that he wanted me to be a beta reader for his newest novel, Empty Bodies. I had never been a beta reader before, but I was excited to be trusted with such an important job. Essentially, I was sent a copy of the book early to read and give notes on. But let me just tell you guys, I never expected it to end up like this.

I finished Empty Bodies in less than 48 hours. That's in the middle of a crazy work week. Like, I was at work on my lunch break with my phone in my hand reading the PDF file. Let me give you the synopsis:

If you like zombies, this is going to be a great novel for you. It's about a group of survivors in the middle of a post-apocalyptic world trying to survive with hoards of "Empties" running around craving flesh and blood. Yummy. All of their stories are told separately, but you slowly but surely find out that they're all connected...
But what really got me hooked on this story: the characters are so memorable. I frequently caught myself reading with my hand over my mouth because so many moments were surprising, and honestly, really grotesque. It's very detailed, and very gory. I crossed my fingers at multiple points because I was scared my favorite characters were going to die. Basically, this story ties you up from the first page and doesn't let you go until the last sentence. It's enthralling.

I was so honored to read this story, and now I highly encourage all of you to do the same. It's really cool knowing that you can support an indie writer, so if you want to grab yourself a copy of Empty Bodies, click here!
If you guys decide to read it, leave me a comment below and let me know what you thought!
Until next time, my ghoulies...I'll be doing an unboxing of my HorrorBlock!

Kraven Manor

I have another horror game to talk about with you guys! In my spare time, I've been trying to get my hands on some good ones (that live up to my expectations, having played Outlast...I told you guys, I'm slightly obsessed, and I don't really know if anything is ever going to compare to the love that I have for this one...) and this one popped up. I said "hey why not!"

My newest conquest (if you couldn't tell from the title and the picture): Kraven Manor.
This one's about a haunted house...that's about all you know, unless you're paying close attention, which I clearly didn't. Normally I'm all about storylines in horror games, this one's story develops way later, but it all starts to come together at the very end. I was kind of disappointed about it in the beginning, but once I got to the end, it satisfied my craving for some kind of answer about what the hell was going on (but it did not satisfy my craving for tiramisu, which is still happening.)

Essentially, the premise of the game is that you're in this house alone with nothing but a flashlight, and you can't fight the entity trying to attack you. That antagonist you have chasing you around is a bronze mannequin. Yeah, Maniac style. See below for explanation.

I didn't love the game, as it didn't have a story at the beginning so you're kind of just wandering, like I said about Among the Sleep, but I definitely enjoyed it. The story is explained throughout the game in notes and books, but it's kind of hard to keep up with because you have the potential to read them all out of order. I understand, though, that this was a teeny indie horror game created by graduate students at a college, so I'll cut 'em some slack. Good job, guys. So with that in mind, the game gets credit to me as: not the best game I've ever played, but definitely terrifying. If you're looking for a game that may potentially make you pee your pants, this is probably a good one.

I also like the fact that as the game goes on you pick up pieces that look a little bit like chess boards, and those all connect on a table in the entryway to Kraven Manor. These boards are actually scaled-down models of the rooms in the house...which you can move around and rebuild as you play to connect different rooms. What that means is every time you move the models around, the rooms in the house move to match it. It was a really cool concept, and towards the end it became crucial to move the rooms into the right spot to finish the game.

On to those mannequins I was telling you about:

I wish that I could link to a youtube video of their awful grunting and creaking that they do when they move up behind you, but you should honestly just play for yourself and listen to it. Ick. You're playing the game with a demon mannequin breathing down your neck. Their noises are horrific. They're Maniac-style creepy mannequins. (If you've never seen Maniac, you should probably do that.) Oh, and let me also mention that they can only move when you turn your back to them (think Dr. Who's weeping angels), which makes them even worse. They also kind of teleport really, really close to you...it's awful.

All in all, I'm happy with this game, though. I should have put a camera on myself during playtime because I was screaming and jumping all over the place. There were curse words said. There was eye-covering. Therefore, it's good in my book.

Let me know if you guys decide to play this one, I'd love to know what you think!

Also, I might have a giveaway coming up in the near future, let me know how you guys feel about that. 

American Horror Story: Freakshow

Man, there are so many things I can say about this season of American Horror Story. Let me start by saying this: Murder House is absolutely still my favorite season. But where does Freakshow fall? Let's have a chat about this.

There were a few reasons that this season of AHS was awesome.

Reason 1: The characters.

This guy. Twisty the Clown. He had the ability to terrify people, then make them cry with intense amounts of sympathy in the matter of one episode. His back-story was amazing. His mannerisms were totally awesome. His reasoning behind what he did, fabulous.

I loved him so much that I actually decided to dress up as him for Halloween.

I had way too much fun with this.

Dandy Mott; have you ever met someone so horrifyingly perfect on the outside, but disgustingly twisted on the inside? If you have, I applaud you for surviving, and I also want to give you a hug while you weep into my shoulder. What a messed up person. Watching his character develop and become more and more maniacal and awful was probably the most entertaining part of the show. 

Many of the other characters, ie. Elsa Mars, Jimmy Darling, and Desiree Dupree were definitely note-worthy. The performances of their respective actors were incredible. Elsa was developed beautifully. Strongman (Dell Toledo) was one of my favorite characters, and so fun to watch. He was a mess. It was great.

But there were plenty of things in the show that needed improvement.

Reason 2: The circus concept.

It sounded like it was going to be such an incredible idea. I mean, after a haunted house, an asylum, and a bunch of witches, what's the next scariest thing you can think of? (Take Coven out of there because it definitely was not scary by any means) I think of clowns and a circus. Now, I'm not afraid of clowns. Pennywise is my man. Art the Clown is a big favorite. Twisty made the list of my top 3 favorite clowns of all time (hell, I even had a doll, Christmas ornament and figure made of him to put in my collection) but the way this was done was pretty cool.

Based loosely on the 1932 film Freaks, you saw Pinheads, two-headed twins, "Lobster Boy", and more. The correlation was great. The original film is classic, so if you have never seen it, I suggest that you do. The full thing is on Youtube. It's pretty creepy.

But there were a few things that ruined it for me:

The season dragged. I only really enjoyed 4 or 5 episodes, most of which involved Twisty. For those of you that watched this season, you know why I say it like that. If you're planning on watching Freakshow, either stop reading, or expect subtle spoilers. I'll try to be good. I truly believe that the downfall of the season were those awful musical numbers. Jessica Lange is incredible, by all means, I bow down to her, but I think that the awkward songs (that were strangely out of the time period) threw off entire episodes. They were just...bleh.

What really ruined it for me was the season finale. While most of the season was just mediocre, saved only by really screwed up characters, the finale was so half-assed. I'm sorry, I don't know how else to say it. It seems like the writers didn't know how to wrap it up, so they just killed everyone, and left the rest to what we all already knew would happen.

Murder House left me guessing the whole time.

I haven't seen Asylum so I can't judge it, but I hear it's pretty great.

Coven didn't really fit into the series so much, but it was entertaining and the characters were wonderful.

This one...honestly? Honestly.

I don't mean to be totally down on it, but I don't really have much good to say. I mean, they put NPH in and got rid of him without wrapping up his character. All the other ones got an awful sendoff. 

I feel like this post isn't even completely cohesive. I'm just so disappointed that it's all of my thoughts smooshed into a post. 

Let me know what you thought about this, guys. I'm so sad, I expected it to be awesome because it started off strong, but I learned about 3 episodes in that I was going to be disappointed. -sigh-

...I still love Twisty though.