All Hallows' Eve Review

When you think of Halloween, what's the first thing that comes to mind? For me, it's trick-or-treating in costume while the wind rustles the leaves on the trees as you walk down the street, your costume shoes stomping on the leaves that have already fallen and you hear that satisfying crunch...-sigh-

Naturally, I love all films that revolve around October 31st. Trick 'r Treat is classic, and is in my top 5 favorite horror films of all time. Halloween doesn't get much more iconic. So when I heard about All Hallows' Eve (2013), I said "oh, I'm probably going to love this one!"

                                            photo from screamhorrormag.com


All Hallows' Eve tells the story of a babysitter and the two bratty kids she's watching after their Halloween festivities. They've been trick-or-treating and the night is rapidly coming to a close. The children are sitting around watching movies when Sarah (the babysitter) ushers them to bed. But the bratty brother finds a VHS tape in his trick-or-treat bag (uh...what?) and insists on playing it. After thoroughly disturbing themselves by watching a psychotic clown named Art become the ringleader to the "terror" on the tape, Sarah is left in the house alone while the children sleep. Is someone there with her?

Okay, you guys. I'm not going to lie, I went into this film with insanely high expectations because you all know how much I love, love, LOVE killer clowns. Pennywise is my man, Twisty is my BFF...any evil clown I can find, I will watch and devour with my eyeballs. I'm not scared of clowns, I just adore them. Don't ask me why.

Anyway, I'd heard about this one before, and I saw Art and thought "alright, this is right up my alley, let's go for it!" and then never got around to watching it. Cut to last night, and I was jumping for joy when I found out my friend had it on DVD. Popped it in, and I let the excitement commence...

Except it never came. This actually may be one of the worst films I've ever watched. There's no plot, and what the film lacks in plot, it only slightly makes up for it in gore. Sort of.

You get to see a baby cut out of a woman, and there are "creepy" aliens with noodle arms, but the whole process of getting to the points that are supposed to scare you are unnecessary, kind of annoying, drawn out, and really boring. The VHS itself is cool, it's almost like an anthology but it doesn't make any sense and it never comes together at the end, but nonetheless, it's the easiest part of the film to watch, besides Art.

Art is AWESOME. He's weird, disturbing, and he's very present. He's never lurking in the shadows, he's right in your face (except for the "second film" where he's kind of just a painting).

If you're looking for a good, classic Halloween film, skip over this one and move on to something more sophisticated like Trick 'r Treat. It's essentially the same, but done better.

This one gets a 3.5/10. Womp womp.

Do you guys have any great film suggestions for me? Let me know! Email me at taylorterriblehorror@gmail.com!

Alright guys, tomorrow is my birthday so I'm taking a trip to Sleepy Hollow. I'll let you know how it goes!!

Until next time, stay spooky <3
Taylor Terrible

American Horror Story: Hotel...WHAT WAS THAT?!

Hello again, my ghosts and ghouls.
Today, I'd like to talk to you all about the first episode of American Horror Story: Hotel, because I feel like some images from this season are permanently burned into my brain and I will never be able to unsee them.

I know a ton of people are disappointed that the fabulous Jessica Lange did not return to star in this season (I specifically say "did not return to star" because there are talks of her potentially taking on a small role at some point in the season, though it's not confirmed). HOWEVER, from the looks of this first episode, this cast looks pretty stellar.
I'm not going to lie, I loved Kathy Bates because she's amazing and calm as always, but Dennis O'Hare completely stole the show as Elizabeth Taylor. Werk, honey.
I'm also not going to lie: I'm not convinced on Lady Gaga's character. I'm not sure if it's intentional or not that she's entirely monotonous and predictable. Part of me feels slightly biased because I typically don't enjoy her in general, but her character annoyed me and I found myself wishing her off-screen.

Other than the weirdness that is this crazy cast, can we talk about the insanity that was this storyline?Spoilers ahead! If you haven't seen it yet, don't be mad!

Re-Animator (1985) Review

I need to preface this review by saying: the fact that none of you have suggested this film to me is actually slightly offensive. I'm actually bitter about the fact that no one has ever said "you should probably watch Re-Animator" to me. I'm so disappointed in you all. -sigh-

Now that my sentiments are out in the open...I went into this film totally blind. I've heard people talk about it, but as some of you know, I'm typically the last to jump on the bandwagon when it comes to "classic" horror films, for some reason. Most of the films that I fall in love with are the ones I'm the last to know about. I don't know why it happens that way, but it does...and I think I'm okay with it.

Anyway, all I knew about this film was that it's based on a story by H.P. Lovecraft (insert swoon here), and that Jeffery Combs is a psychotic medical student that brings dead things back to life. For those of you that have never seen the film, there's the synopsis for you! To be honest, I would typically give a little more, but there are so many things about this film that I don't want to give away by giving you a full play-by-play of how the film goes. You really just need to watch it for yourself.

I'm truly a gore-hound. I am in love with watching people get torn apart. I think it's awesome when someone's head explodes. Re-Animator does not skimp on the pure beauty that is insane amounts of gore.

It also does not skimp on attractive men. Herbert West, will you marry me?

This is also one of the strangest films I think I've ever seen. Once you get past the fact that the film is paying homage to the horror classic Psycho by using the same music, and you get past the fact that it's a cheesy 80's horror, it's really strange, disturbing, and actually pretty gross. There are some scenes that made me cringe big-time (and you'll cringe through the whole film if you don't like needles), and there are copious amounts of laughable weirdness.

While the film is noticeably 80's (it's fun, campy, and the VFX are slightly derpy), the storyline is great and really doesn't leave much to be desired. As far as rewatchability goes for this film, I would watch it again tomorrow! It's AWESOME. So much awesome.

As for a number rating, I give this one an 7/10! I'd watch it again (see above), it fills my requirements for a good horror film (slightly cringeworthy, good story, fun characters and gross deaths), the only change I would make would be some of the actors. At times they were just totally not believable.

Have YOU seen Re-Animator? What did you think?